This girl gets a proposal from a highly educated family somewhere in Bundelkhand where it had already been made clear to all the relatives that no dowry will be offered in her marriage. Parents of that highly-educated guy came to see the girl, liked her, returned back, and as it always happens, they approached one of her father's friend to ask him that ever-green beggarly question: "Kitne ki shaadi karenge?"
Her dad's response: "Shaadi hi nahin karni hai" and my friend was not married in that family. I am proud of her and her family.. Just imagine the case had her parents accepted the proposal and would have got ready to buy the guy for a few hard-earned lakhs. They would have bought that guy for that money, but would have sent their daughter to a place no less than a jail. Who knows if the greed increases after the marriage!!
My friend's parents have finally decided not to marry her in any Jain family in Bundelkhand. We should be proud of their decision.
If any person demands, directly or indirectly, from the parents or other relatives or guardian of a bride or bridegroom, as the case may be, any dowry, he shall be punishable with imprisonment for a term which shall not be less than six months, but which may extend to two years and with fine which may extend to ten thousand rupees. Provided that the Court may, for adequate and special reasons to be mentioned in the judgement impose a sentence of imprisonment for a term of less than six months. Read more
If any such incident has happened with you, you can share them here..
7 comments:
That's exactly a girl's parents are pressurized to reveal their financial conditions in public and then they are humiliated for having such a low budget. The guy's parents then boast about the gold and money that they spent in their own daughter's wedding or at some other wedding in their family .....
Yes Neha! And this is the aim of all of us.. let us spread awareness about all that happens, on a mass scale, through public forums, religious meetings, take the help of social organizations in spreading this awareness. Whenever we come across any social gathering happening near us, let us go there and talk about this crime.. and let people know about the Acts in the Indian Judicial System against this crime.
That's indeed the shocking story of our community, may be the Indian psyche...
I sympathize with what your friend has gone through and given the circumstances they probably took a decision not to marry in the community.
However, Is there anything to be proud they decided not to marry in any Jain family in Bundelkhand? Does this suggest that dowry is only persistent in families in Bundelkhand and not any other region or in fact not in other communities other than Jain?
FYI, I'm not related with Bundelkhand but just to bring this to light that not all fingers are equal and there might be people there who don't believe in putting their son on a SALE!
Hi Aashish, we don't have to be proud about 'deciding not to marry in Bundelkhand'. We have to be proud about them deciding not to marry in a home asking for dowry. My friends' family is a well-off family with good financial background, but they are aware of this fact that most of the people asking for dowry don't treat their daughter-in-laws nicely after marriage..
Regarding families in Bundelkhand, may be they decided to chuck-off the whole of Bundelkhand after 3-4 such cases that they would've come across in this region. Frustration after coming across such cases repeatedly is a normal thing in human beings. May be they might end up marrying her in some NOT-FOR-SALE but for REAL-MARRIAGE in Bundelkhand only.. :)
Excellent topic and hats off to the parents who had guts to refuse the proposal If only we could educate all parents with daughters to follow this and soon dowry askng would be eradicated.
I totally agree, it shud be discussed publicaly, good thought Saurabh.
Saurabh, I can understand what you have mentioned in your blog this is not your fault. This is our soci-pscho, blendly support female considering them Seeta.
We always talk about dowry(daughter in law wealth release to you) but we don't talk about Sowry(sun in law money release to you). This is also a tradition in our society but it is always ignored. I have some friends where Sowry was demanded from in-laws to show prosperty, status in front of society in form of Shridhan (Gold etc).
We always consider all the women are seeta. what about soopnaka dude?
Now society is changing what is not changing our perspective to see the things.
What's the reason behind dowry ?
we must not marry our sisters etc to such type of greedy people. automatically it will stop. We are actual criminal who promot these things and after that when things go wrong. We start blaming to second party and dowry etc.
First thing is this, We have
What is dowry perhaps we need to understand, Even I have demanded dowry in my marriage, and it was support to build the family, respect to elder as I give, love, care etc. It was not related to money.
I will recommend you to visit www.wemen.us
See the things being neutral.
Your are talking about voilence againt women what about voilence against men.
I will simply say in our country when husband die (any reason) his wife gets his property but when women die then husband and his family has to go jail(whatever is the reason)
Do you think this is justice?
Animals have animal minstry, Women have women ministy, child have child ministy where is men ministry?
Do you still think this is right.
we celebrate women day, child day, mothers day what about father's day.
Wife always use her husband as a Free ATM machine if this doesn't work start complaining about domestic voilent etc.
Somebody has been brainwashed you.
Be neutral and then think.
Hope you will understand.
Still you want discussion, come on chat I will give live example which you can't even imagin.
Hence, please stop writing such type of misleading blogs.
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