Amidst the support that we are getting for this awareness campaign, I got this write up from one of my friends (identity preserved) who was also asked for dowry - in a sophisticated 21st century manner. An interesting read !! Spread the word !! The more you spread the word, the more is the probability of affecting the life of someone somewhere you know.. Help them !!
21st century Sophisticated Dowry
Every educated guy these days wants an equally educated wife and in some cases their partner’s requirements clearly mention that “the girl should be working”. They want a well educated, handsomely earning, good looking, piece of decoration for their house. The guy takes a stab at evaluating the girl - meeting her, talking to her and seeing if it fits the bill. Once the guy feels "Yess!! The girl fulfills my checklist", he leaves "everything else" to his parents and asks the girl’s parents to talk to his parents - like a cattle is herded to the butcher.
Why? Because the guy is a man of principles. How can he quote his own price!
The story doesn’t end here.
Now the girl’s father humbly asks about the monetary expectations from one of a renowned Jain families in Delhi when the boy’s father says “Hum to daal roti khaane waale bande hain ji. Baaki har maa baap ke armaan hote hain apne bacchon ke liye. Aap apni marzi se bataiye kitna lagaanaa chahenge”
Another case, where the guy is NRI - a green card holder. The father has high hopes that at least this guy’s views would match the so called 21st century educated Indian. Here is what the sophisticated boy says “Uncle mere mummy papaa ki, humari family ki koi aisi expectations nahi hai, baaki ye hai ki... mere mummy papa ne bhi meri sister ke liye bachpan se hi jodna shuru kar diya tha… they spent 35 lakh in my sister’s marriage” ..and poor girl’s father is bound to think "Did I commit any blunder by investing all my hard earned money in the education of my daughter than accumulating it for her marriage ??"
Why is it always that a girl’s parents are subjected to torture of revealing their financial conditions? Why are they forced to tell their budget and then feel ashamed of it when it is compared with the flashy budget of their friends in the society?
Why can’t millionaires and billionaires set an example by keeping their son or daughter’s marriage a low profile affair? Why are they polluting the society by setting this difficult benchmark for other simple families in the society?
Height of sophistication: High class 21st century parents have devised a new way of fooling everyone - by the means of rituals. Boy’s family will send a long list of rituals to be conducted at the marriage and the rituals are nothing but a lavish give and give (never take) of gifts and hefty shagun to mark the respect of baratis and the groom. What a trick!!!
Can’t we simply conduct a marriage by conducting an Almighty’s pooja and seeking His and elders’ blessings?
7 comments:
seems a lot happening on this sophisticated issue. is it?
anyways, i wish that 'kitna lagayenge?' question will come soon in ur life, in an acceptable or better form!
really a sophisticated masterpiece!
Every word mentioned here is exactly what is happening in the society currently ... I would like to say THANKS to the person who started this campaign... If youth like us come forward .. we can definitely chuck this out of our country like the Sati pratha...
Society is made from people like you my friend, people like me, people like us. Maybe you can bring a change here. Set an example or something. But DO NOT ever expect things to work your way. There is no right or wrong when a billion heads stand in a straight line. & maybe if you're so pissed off by all this scheme of things, go become a terrorist !!
@ Abhinav: Thanks for the wishes. I too wish that a day comes when girl's parents come to the boy's parents and say "Aap kitna lagaana chahenge" .. and then the boy's parents would say "Shaadi ke function ka jitna kharcha hai, baraabar baant lete hain" .. :)
@ nP: I totally agree with you. Things do not always work the way we want them to. Just like when you want not to be murdered but someone somewhere does kill you, or when you want independence, but britishers are not ready to leave the country, and a billion heads (may be less) were standing in a line not against the britishers, but working for them. But still change does happen sometimes.. and whenever there is something happening that causes pain to someone, keeps constantly pinching someone, causes people to suicide, makes people to break relationships post-marriages, change happens!
And all these changes happen by spreading the awareness. And I am sure that you are with us in supporting this cause and spreading the awareness. Soon we are going to take the help of some organizations in doing this. Please leave your email id at saurabh.iit2003[at]gmail[dot]com and I'll keep informing you about further steps.
Regards,
Saurabh
READ THIS TOO ----
Guys have multiple options to tackle the situation, two of which can be outlined as follows…..
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Option 1 – Active Aggression: “You dare offer me dowry, you simple minded, prehistoric moron?? That does it!! I’m not going to marry your daughter. What I am going to do is hold you by the cuff of your collar and shake you until your dentures fall out!”
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Option 2 – Subtle Humor: “So let me get this right… You give me 15 lakhs and a car… I take your daughter for life… Hmm… Let me think… Tell you what… give me 25,000 and I’ll take her off your hand for a month or so. Deal?”
@ Neha: Good suggestion (Option 1). I actually have come across one such case. Will share the experience of that guy in this blog.. very soon :)
Option 2: Nice Humor !
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